I don't understand why I always feel like shit on the holidays. Maybe it's the fact that I've always disliked Christmas and my parents always spend money that we don't have with kids in college and everything. I mean a Xbox 360 was very nice to receive, but yet I feel empty. I only feel warm once or twice during this time of year. 1.) When I see someone I truly love open a gift. And 2.) When I get away from reality. I don't mind traveling. I don't mind going to Novi again this year. I've been like 5 years in a row now. It's kinda expected that I come. They love me, but yet I still feel distant because everyone grew up together and we lived so far away. It's really odd when my father goes up with out my mum-- not his side of the family. But then again, the one person I've had on my mind for what seems like forever now is still so far away. 5,000- 6,000 miles away to be exact. And it is his favorite time of year. It's really depressing. I just feel empty.